It’s all in the bounce back

It really doesn’t matter what industry you are in, or how you run your business. The inevitable will happen. You will eventually do something, whether it’s for work or your peers, that just doesn’t land well. As in, you created something or you presented something and flops.
And sometimes, it will flop hard. As in real hard.
And that hurts.
It hurts relationships, it hurts feelings, and most of all it hurts our ego.

The focus shouldn’t be on what we did, or how it turned out in the end. 
The focus should be on how we move forward. 

How we bounce back from something that just didn’t work out. Something that flopped, and maybe even embarrassed us a little. The power is in the bounce back. There is a really relevant song from the movie, Always Be My Maybe and it’s called Bounce Back … so maybe it’s not more complicated than that. Check that song out here. But for those of us who don’t have rhythm, I think it’s more than just telling ourselves to bounce back.

This is a real opportunity to look at the gain, and not focus on the gap. 

My own story with this is a simple one. About 2 years ago, I created an online course, teaching website creators how to SEO their own website. And I sold it, as a live virtual lead course, to 11 people. And then I could not sell it anymore. No matter what I did, I could not sell it. Eventually I realized, it just wasn’t transformational, it was informational – and that was my miss in creating the course. The even harder part is, I told everyone who was close to me that this was it. I am going to go balls to the wall for this course, and it’s going to be amazing. I have found the thing I am going to do. Head held high, back straight, eyes forward. 

And for a period of time it was amazing, but that was short lived, and then I had to eat some humble pie. I had to admit that this course wasn’t going to last the test of time, and yet again, I had to find something else. 

That put me into a 6 month slump. I had a hard time focusing on anything new, and I felt like such a failure. If only I had tried harder with the course, or made more of an effort, or made more calls. I even thought of revamping the course, but something inside me just couldn’t do that either.

And the thing is, looking back on that course, I did make the effort, I did try hard and I learned a lot from doing it. In this case, I believe I did everything right, and I still lost. This is where the reframing came in. It wasn’t until I really understood the gain, that I was able to let go of the gap.

Once I understood what I gained from the experience, I was able to reframe the outcome. I gained knowledge on how to present, how to put together content, how to show up with energy and curiosity. And all of this led me to coaching, and I love coaching so much more than I ever loved teaching that SEO course. 

That’s the thing with a bounce back, we never know how much better we will be once it happens.

I did come to some realizations during the bounce back, and so I’ll share those with you.

  1. Stay true to you.
    This was something I had to focus on every day. I knew that the course I created wasn’t exactly what I should be doing, but it was close. So I thought, isn’t that good enough? Wasn’t close enough good enough? I hope you answered no. Because I did. And it went like this.
    I was on a mentoring call about selling the course, and my mentor said “do you feel like this is your path?” And my answer was “Well, I’m pretty good at it. And it makes me money.” Wow. Looking back, that said it all. If I was going to focus on the money, it was not going to work. Full stop. Stay true to you. This isn’t something that anyone else can tell you the answer to, only you know the answer. Keep in mind, money is a result, not the answer.

  2. One day at a time.
    I wish this one was easier. But it isn’t. I just kept going, one day at a time. I read books, I listened to podcasts, I meditated. And I focused on the day I was in. And then one day, my inbox had an email from the Jay Shetty coaching team. And, well, you know the rest. This is where I am meant to be. And I am so grateful that I took the time I did, one day at a time.

  3. You aren’t starting where you once were.
    My son plays Mario Kart Wii, and on any given level, he has the opportunity to hit a flag and if he dies he starts from there. Not the beginning. So, even though my online course did not work, I did not start from where I once was. I had gained experience, I had gained a bit of a network, I had gained skills that I now use in my coaching practice. I didn’t go back to the beginning, I only went back to the flag. And let’s not diminish the amount of time and work it took to get to that flag.

When I look back on it now, I know that my online course didn’t work because it was setting me up for coaching. I used to think I failed at it, now I think it was a stepping stone to something much more meaningful to me.

I hope this helps you reframe something that just didn’t work out for you.
Your power is in your bounce back, however that happens. 

Donita Fowler

Coach + Creator
Manage your emotions and you can navigate challenges with a balanced perspective.