What I learned by not finishing the high ropes

I know what you are thinking, is this even blog worthy? And for business? Come on, Donita. Ok, I don’t really know what you are thinking. But this might be what I think. Trust me when I say that life and business are connected. In almost every way. Take your hands, and face them to yourself, palms in. Now spread your fingers and make them come together. That’s business and life. Back to the high ropes.

This year on our family vacation, we did a tour guided zip line, and a self guided high rope course. It’s at a very reputable place called Wild Play, located in Victoria, BC. The zip line went well. Kind of high, and a bit scary. But it was guided. And for me, that was the deal breaker. So we zipped for about an hour, and had a really good time. See photo below. 

wild-play-ziplining

Then it came time for the high ropes. We had a very short tutorial on how to hook on and off. And then we went into the play course, and started. It was designed that you did about half, unclipped, walked across a path, clipped back in and started again. I knew that once I unclipped, I was not clipping back in. 

I hate quitting….anything. I feel like it chips away at my ego, or my self worth, or whatever I want to call it. I’ve stayed at jobs longer than I should have, I have worked privately with clients longer than I should have, I drove a car that I hated for 5 years because selling meant quitting on that car/loan. These are bigger quitting moments, but I have had them daily as well, and just powered through it. Thinking that quitting was not an option. Ever. This time was different. And I think I know why.

 

Therapy.
That’s it. I’ve said it folks, I have a therapist that I speak to 3 or 4 times a month. Her name is Elizabeth, and she has been one of the agents of change for me. I believe that without the last 12 months of processing my thoughts, feelings, trauma, I still might have quit halfway through. But that would have been the highlight of my holiday. It would have consumed all that I was doing. I would have made it all about me quitting, and tried for the next 9 days to make up for it. Instead, I stopped half way through, took pics of my family still on the ropes, and made no big deal about it at all. 

Trust my equipment.
I did not do this. Even though I was attached to a line that wasn’t going to let me fall, I didn’t believe it. I thought it wouldn’t hold me and I would plummet to the ground. Even though I knew I was safe, I didn’t believe it. And so, I need to trust myself more. Trust my equipment, trust the process, trust my thoughts and where they are taking me. It sounds like a lot, but it really isn’t. It takes as much energy to not trust as it does to trust. 

Look for support.
I had Vince behind me in the course. And for those of you who are new here, Vince is my husband, the father of my kids and my business partner. So, ya – he’s been with me through it all. He actually slowed me down, made me breathe and got me through that first half of the course. He is a rock. He finished the course with the kids, and he finished with a smile. He is that guy. And even though I didn’t look for support, he was there with me. Encouraging me all of the way. That support is what we all need. Look for it. Find it. And then be grateful and accept it.

 

I don’t look at the course as a failure. I look at it as something I tried, and decided not to finish. I just couldn’t get out of my head, and so I happily watched my family complete it. I left my ego at home. No one loves me any less because I didn’t dangle from above.
My worth is determined by me. That’s it. 

If you ever visit Victoria, I encourage you to visit Wild Play. It was worth it for us, and next time I might even finish that second half. 

Donita Fowler

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Coach | Speaker | Writer

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